Victor Ung

It’s being assertive with how you feel, even if it won’t please others.

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Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash

One of the common misconceptions I get is that emotional intelligence is about how to be nice to people.

It’s actually the opposite of that. Not in a mean or destructive way, but in a more assertive way that doesn’t allow others (or your own emotions) to take advantage of you.

It’s the ability to not let your emotions distract you from what you want to communicate. It’s the skill to manage conflicts both within yourself and with others to have a productive influence. It’s about aligning your words and actions with your feelings so they are congruent.

What it’s NOT is being nice just to please others and forgetting about yourself. It’s NOT just doing things for people only to get what you want. And it’s definitely NOT just saying things without also feeling them. …


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Photo by Allef Vinicius on Unsplash

Can you actually improve creativity? And what does emotional intelligence have anything to do with it?

The answer to these questions depends on whether you view your mind as something that’s fixed or available for growth. If it’s fixed, you might think, “you can’t teach an old dog new tricks.” If it’s growth, you might think of creativity and emotional intelligence as a muscle that can be strengthened.

But how does an understanding of emotions relate to creativity?

Humans are emotional creatures and are driven by emotions. When we can better understand those emotions, it can impact the actions we decide to take, especially when producing something new. The best inventions, products, music, even services came from an emotion. …


Don’t wait until there’s a problem

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Photo by Duy Pham on Unsplash

Have you felt judged for talking to your friends about mental health?

The stigma against mental illnesses closes most of us off from talking about it, especially within my Asian-American community, and among those who’ve absorbed narrow definitions of masculinity.

The first step to breaking the stigma is making the distinction between mental health and mental illness. The former is about the overall health of our minds. The latter is a diagnosis from a psychiatrist or psychologist. Most of us are not trained medical professionals, but we can have conversations about our overall well-being.

The World Health Organization defines mental health as ‘a state of well-being in which the individual realizes his or her own abilities, can cope with the normal stresses of life, can work productively and fruitfully, and is able to make a contribution to his or her community.’ …


It’s time to slow down, and say “no”

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Photo by XVIIIZZ on Unsplash

The world has simultaneously hit the pause and fast forward button for so many of us.

Whether you’re taking time to explore your soul, lost in a transitional time, grinding in the hustle, or your relationship is accelerating faster than normal, it’s easy to get gung-ho about it all.

If you’re feeling overwhelmed, anxious, or unfulfilled, you’re probably saying “yes” to too many things. It’s time to “swipe left” on life for a minute.

The “Shotgun Approach” Left Me Unfulfilled

I’ve been a big “yes” man most of my life. I love accepting party invites, doing things for people, feeling wanted. …


Life doesn’t happen for you

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Photo by Benjamin Voros on Unsplash

My dad was 30 when my mom had me.

So you already know I’m feeling all types of ways looking at my life, single as f***.

I thought by 30, I’d also have my life altogether. I’d be safe and secure enough to be married, to have a kid, to feel confident in my career path.

Nope.

It’s also almost the end of 2020 and we still have so many social, political, economical, mental, emotional, and spiritual instability in the world right now.

You’d think we’d have this shit figured out by now, right? Nope.

Needless to say, I’ve been misled in what my life was supposed to look like by now. …


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Photo by KAL VISUALS on Unsplash

You know that feeling when you haven’t been able to work on your craft for far too long?

I feel like there’s been a huge gap in my soul not writing as much in the past few months.

If you’re any type of creator, you’ll know what I’m talking about.

I’ll share my story and struggle through my transition into a more creative career after burning out from the tech industry. Hopefully, this will shed light on your life and creative journey as well!

Reconnecting To My Creative Passion

Writing was my first love and still is a core creative outlet for me. Way back as a middle school kid, I loved going to the library to use the iMacs to go back into my own fictional world. I even wrote a 60+ page children’s novel about superpowered bears and ninjas. …


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Photo by Jonathan Farber on Unsplash

Do you ever look back at your work and realize how far you’ve come?

After recovering from all the cringing at your awkward, younger self, of course!

But then your existential embarrassment settles, and you become grateful for your younger self for taking the physical and emotional risk to put yourself out there. For me, it was committing to releasing one podcast episode a week, no matter what for the past year.

It’s awesome now to be able to say I have 50+ episodes out now. And I’ve learned so much along the way, both in the podcasting industry, in entrepreneurship, and content creation, as well as within myself as a human, an Asian American, and a man. …


How do you find out if you could benefit from improving your emotional intelligence?

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When I first learned about emotional intelligence (EQ) from The School of Life, I immediately understood that’s what was missing in my life. It helped me see that culture and society values the technical, logical skills as a measure of intelligence, but we forget that the skill to navigate the emotions that are an inevitable part of life is also crucial (if not more) for better long-term decision-making and stress management.

In talking with so many others since then, I’ve realized that EQ is still difficult to define for many, until it can be applied to a specific situation in our lives. …


When artificial intelligence becomes a major part of society, emotional intelligence is going to be much more important for humans.

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As technology advances exponentially, our human minds only progress linearly, which means the gap between people and technology will only increase. How will humans keep up?

One thing we can do is increase our emotional intelligence. As artificial intelligence is already automating most of our monotonous and repetitive tasks, humans will need to become more competitive by creating solutions to the more complex problems that require creativity or insight into human behavior.

It’s Already Needed Today

Humans are social, emotional beings and we will always have to interact with each other in some capacity, even when the technology might be doing most of it for us. …


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Photo by jesse orrico on Unsplash

No, it’s not all about “feelings”.

Most of us growing up were never taught how to manage our emotions. In school, we learned functional skills, but the social-emotional skills had to be learned on our own.

There were exercises in analytical thinking and applying concepts to “life” scenarios, but those were all still fabricated by the teacher, or the school, or the curriculum. Most of them were not personable or relevant to our actual lives or futures. We were always given tasks, homework, and things to just memorize, but never asked to think for ourselves.

The missing ingredient is emotional intelligence (aka EQ). It’s the ability to understand how our emotions affect our behaviors and how we communicate with other human beings. Without training our EQ, we limit personal growth, career growth, relationships, and fulfillment in our lives, being held back by the inability to manage our emotions. …

About

Victor Ung

Helping men (hu)man up their leadership and communication through emotional intelligence and conscious cannabis use | http://victorung.com

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